Layaran

Pelayaran

Pada lautan luas tak terenang

Pada malam gelita tanpa bulan tanpa bintang

Layaran patah dihenyak badai semalam

Dan kapal yang makin tenggelam

Langit kelam

Malam bungkam

For a new beginning

Aku meninjau-ninjau
Choba menghindari duri dan ranjau
Untok menchari sa-buah parmolaan yang baharu

Fana

Kadang aku terlampau leka
Pesona dengan nista dunia
Lalu aku mulai tertanya
Fana ini akhirannya apa?

The Boundary

Have you heard about a story that was located at the boundary between reality and fantasy. The kind of story that you heard and made you think that it might be real, and at the same time you feel that it just a made up. Well, I think you should have.

Convenient

"Well, it has been two years! Two straight years!!!".

"Apparently, yeah...".

"Have you ever thought how on earth you'll gonna explain that!?".

"Na man, I'm good. I never had a thought that I should explain that."

"That is very convenient".

"Yeap. Sure it is".

Warkah Lama

Aku melewati titis bara yang mulai terpadam dalam sepi
Di dasarnya itu warkah lama berdebu kian bertukar jadi abu
Datanglah angin, terbanglah puing-puing menghilang di awangan
Dalam keresahan senja bertandang, membalut kenangan yang tak mungkin hilang

Parts of the void

We're on our way to the heart of the town. While Primadonna by Marina And The Diamonds was played on the radio. The traffic congestion was as you could expect at 8 pm.

The road, the surrounding seems strange, yet so familiar. Well, I guess it's one of the thing that would occur within the five years voids.

And there was some other things that's very familiar yet so connected. And then when you realized it all covered with nothing but strangeness. Parts of the void.

Injections

Semalam bawa Bushra keluar untuk ambil vaccine injection. Tiga suntikan semuanya. Dua di GP (kiri dan kanan paha) dan satu lagi di hospital (bahu kiri). Sepatutnya pada hari berbeza, tapi kebetulan dapat appointment pada hari yang sama.

Sebelum giliran Bushra, ada seorang scottish baby boy kat dalam bilik tengah ambil injection. Baby tu bukan main jerit lagi dan lepas tu menangis tak henti-henti. Dek terkesian kat Bushra, Ibu pun pass dekat midwife untuk tolong pegangkan sebab tak sanggup nak tengok Bushra kena inject.

Masa injection pun Bushra jerit kuat juga. Lepas tu Bushra nangis sikit, kemudian senyap.

Same thing happen when we're at the hospital.

I kinda amaze...

Di Persimpangan Ini

Pada ketibaan
Di persimpangan ini
Di bening pagi damai
Tiada unggas berkicau
Sekadar riang-riang sayup berdesit
Kanan dan kiri jalan
Menuju hilang dalam kabus
Apakah harus ku tunggu
Dalam kesamaran hening pagi
Hingga saatnya cahaya terang
Hingga kabus lesap menghilang
Akankah ada jawapan
Di penghujung satu jalan
Atau mungkin jua semuanya
Sekadar persimpangan satu persinggahan

A Place from the Past

I was in the middle of a very long journey. There’s a small house in a village that brought me to the past that I thought has been long gone. I considered myself lucky. And I still remember, it was a hot sunny December.

Pacific

I'm heading to the West Coast tonight. Hardly to do this, I left my wife alone in the house. We never stay apart, and this is the first time. One week will be the longest week for her I couldn't imagine. I hope Allah will grant her a strength. I hope everything will go well. And I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dream. I hope.

Smile on my face

It's a nice beautiful morning. Although the temperature is getting lower and lower approaching zero degree, but as long the sun still shining, I can put a smile on my face.

I just coming back from fajr. Accompanied by unbearable coldness along the way. Riding bike just make it worse. But I got with me several layer of clothes, beanie hat covered more than half of my head, muffler tightened around my neck, and a pair of "cap ayam" gloves that kept me warmer inside. Those are the best gloves I ever had although quite expensive.

Well, foot is the only thing that I have. And the only way to move faster rather than walking (very fast) or running is cycling. Alhamdulillah, Irfan went home for good and left me his both-brakes-need-to-be-fixed bike. I don't really use it at first. If you could imagine, it's been like 10 years I never ride a bike. It's a along time back, since before I left secondary school. I found it very difficult at the beginning especially at the steep part before could reach my flat. But it's getting better, and I get used to it.

I use the the bike wherever I go. Felt like I'm depending on it now. And life would be difficult without it. Hm...

Winter's comin'

A view from Blackness Road

Winter's coming. It's getting colder day by day and I don't really like it. Well, it doesn't mean that I don't like the whole winter time at all. Snow showers and snow blanket is fine for couples of days, or a week. But it's too cold to spend for the rest of four months.

I miss warm weather, I miss summer time a lot. Time where people spend time the most outside. Do everything possible. Photoshooting, playing frisbee, tennis, going to carboot, barbecuing, travelling. Such a great time and I just can't list 'em all here.

Probably going home during winter time is a great idea. I guess.

Bisikan Pulang

Kalau aku bisa terbang
Akan ku terbang pulang
Mencari-cari sebuah ketenangan
Di persinggahan penuh kedamaian
Kisah semalam yang takkan hilang
Disitu dunia, disitu syurga
Dalam kejerihan perantauan
Ingatan berganti timbul dan tenggelam
Angin sutera ku bisikkan
Aku ingin pulang

Home

I learned that lots of people will go home for this summer. Some of 'em will doing it for good. Data collection reason as for the other one. And the rest are just doing it to bring themselves to home. Place where their heart's belong. That's what I thought. Probably the same thought as everybody else here. I guess.

Some people go home once in a while. Some people always wanted to go home, but because of some reason, did't get the chance. And believe me, I got a friend who I knew, book ticket each couple of month and got himself into the plane on one or two week after. You name the airlines, MAS, KLM, Emirates, even Sri Lankan Airlines. There are chances that he had boarded the planes.

For those who had the plan, I hope they'll have a good and safe journey. Especially for those close to me. Both of my neighbours at the Blackness Street, the family at the Seymour Street, peoples of the Peddie Street. People in Durham, Bristol and all other place across the UK, US and around the globe. May the grace of The Almighty God always be with you.

Meneruskan Perjalanan

Dan keretapi itu semakin hampir dan semakin perlahan pergerakkannya. Aku menanti dengan sabar di tepian landasan. Ia semakin perlahan petanda ia akan berhenti. Aku dapat lihat dengan jelas pemandunya saat kepala keretapi melewati hadapanku. Dia menghadiahkan senyuman menggamit kemesraan. Ketenangan yang aku harapkan dalam perjalanan yang seterusnya ini. Lalu aku pun membalas senyumannya sambil menunduk sedikit kepalaku tanda hormat.

"It's the time son. You miss this, you gonna miss your chance, and trust me, you gonna regret that. The price's too high to be paid for another chance."

"Ok"

"Hop on son!"

Fikiranku masih bercampur-campur. Hanya kakiku melangkah sendiri masuk dan mencari tempat duduk. Aku kira, tempat duduk di tepi tingkap itu yang aku inginkan. Lalu aku pun menghempaskan diri tersandar dan menghela nafas panjang.

Aku memandang ke luar jendela. Keretapi semakin pantas memecut. Kenangan yang aku kutip di daerah persinggahan ini mulai menerpa satu persatu. Berbaur-baur. Seakan enggan melepaskan aku pergi dalam ketenangan. Dan aku memandang lurus kehadapan, mengatur-merancang perjalanan di depan. Sambil ingatan lalu menyusup mendatang dan menghilang.

Piece

Mau ku berlari
Biar semua tertinggalkan
Apakan daya
Sang makhluk bayang itam
Jua punya kekuatan
Bisa kejaran
Bisa mencakar
Bisa menerkam
Arah dari belakang
Lalu aku telusuri arus kehadapan
Dalam pengharapan
Aku 'kan hanyut dan trus menghilang

...I looked at him, controlled my voice and said softly, "you need to be strong. Otherwise at any time, they'll come and hunt you down"
(April 2009)...

Cerah

Hari ini cuaca sangat cerah.

Biarpun pada awalnya, ramalan mengatakan akan hujan sepanjang hari.

Hari ini tidak pergi ke carboot.

Cuma berehat-rehat dirumah, tonton cerita, goreng ayam kentaki.

Petang keluar ambil-ambil gambar.

Che An ajak dinner di rumahnya lewat petang. Alhamdulillah, rezeki hari ni.

Ustaz Nizam-Zayd-Kak Shiqin, serta Ustaz Roslan ada sekali.

Pertembungan Cahaya Merah dan Sang Fajar

Malam Sabtu hari tu aku dengan Zaquan naik puncak Dundee Law. Asalnya Amal, Nizam dan kawannya lagi sorang nak ikut. Tapi ada permasalahan kecik dan salah konsep (betul ke ni?) jadi aku dengan Zaquan sahaja yang pergi.

Kebiasaanya suhu sekarang agak ok. Sebab dah mula nak masuk musim panas. Tapi entah kenapa malam itu dingin semacam. Dan aku terpaksa pakai jaket tebal dan belit muffler kat leher.

Takde tujuan ape pun, cumanya nak tengok pertembungan antara waktu maghrib dan subuh yakni kewujudan cahaya merah sebelah barat dan munculnya fajar di sebelah timur serentak. Kami gerak lepas solat subuh, lebih kurang pukul 2 pagi camtu.

Cahaya merah bertemankan bulan mengambang penuh di sebelah barat

Kedamaian, dan Ketenangan

Fajar muncul di sebelah timur

Pukul 3++ pagi time ni. Berdiri tercegat 20 saat tunggu shutter tutup

Yang Berserakan

Andai mawar setaman berduri
Kuntumnya semerbak harum mewangi
Usahlah di damba pawana kasturi
Kan menghilang ia dengan sendiri
Biar kaca berderai seribu
Biar awan larat mendung kelabu
Bila esok menjelang
Bisakah ditempuh lembah berulang
Di saat jelas ingatan semalam
Dan puspa kemboja masih berserakan...